The Self Paper Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1000 words

The Self Paper - Essay Example These may be positive or negative. For example, a girl who believes that she is fat may avoid the reassurances for her friends, which suggest otherwise. However, a student who believes that he is smart may continue to believe the same after looking his transcript, which shows a C grade. Rogers labeled this difference between reality and self-concept as â€Å"incongruence†. Important here to note is that everybody has some degree of incongruence but what really matters is â€Å"how much† (Weiten, 2008). Rogers also believed that the congruence or incongruence has a direct linkage with the childhood experiences of the person. Quite understandably, people and especially children are hungry for love, attention, and affection. During their childhood, parents and guardians are responsible for the same (Weiten, 2008). Rogers argue that parents that provide unconditional love to their children are at the same time fostering congruence; however, parents that make their love cond itional, find great disparities between the self-concept and actual experiences of their children, in other words fostering incongruence. This is true because when the love of the parents appears to be conditional for the children, they are more likely to block unfavorable experiences so that they could reassure themselves that they are worthy of love. On the other hand, children getting unconditional love would develop a sense of security and confidence in them, which would them to face the experiences and their reality in a better way (Baumeister, 1999). Development of the concept of self has two important aspects. First is the existential self which refers to â€Å"the most basic part of the self-scheme or self-concept; the sense of being separate and distinct from others and the awareness of the constancy of the self† (Baumeister, 1999; (Weiten, 2008). During his early days, a young child realizes that he exists as a separate entity in time and space like everything else does. When he feels the touch of someone else or sees objecting moving due to his force, this is when he gains an understanding of his own existence, which is different from that of others. Second aspect of self is the categorical self, which develops when the child grasps an understanding of the fact that he or she is not a separate entity but at the time is an object like many other objects present in the surrounding. This allows the child to realize that like other objects he or she also has certain properties and characteristics that define him and are an important part or his or her existence. â€Å"I am tall†, â€Å"I am a girl†, â€Å"I am 3† and others. With the passage of time, these characteristics and properties which people apply to themselves become more complex and internal concerning psychological traits, comparative evaluations and others (Weiten, 2008). The relationship between self and emotions is an important one, which also leads to the under standing of self-esteem. Emotions refer to the experiences of an individual’s state of mind and how an individual thinks or feels goes on to determines his self worth or self-esteem (Powell, 2005). Self Esteem refers to the extent to which one values him or herself, the perceived worth and the degree to which he or she approves or accepts his or her existence. Higher self-esteem would refer to a positive view of self which would ultimately lead to optimism, confidence,